"One of the greatest betrayals of our illusion of permanence, one of the sharpest daggers of loss-the last time you sat across from a person you now know you will never see again, the last touch of a hand, the last carefree laugh over something spoken in the secret language that binds two people in intimacy-- the finality of which we can never comprehend in the moment we experience with sundering shock" Figuring book
Being young has wonderful surprises in store and fond memories. But as character Spock has said "Life is like a Garden, Good memories can be had but not preserved, only in memories."
Trevor looks back in dismay about the last time he skied or the last time he ice-skated remembering how easy it was for him to balance. Now at 76 he realizes he gets dizzy and can lose his balance quite easily.
Going back further in time, he remembers the "loves of his life" . Whether they were brief or longer, they all meant a lot to him. He had that "unfinished business" of sorting through old love letters and pleadings of boy friends and girl friends (well at least one obsessive girlfriend). He never knew that there would be an ending at the time, and if he could take back some of the "bad" things he said or did, he would.
Last times has a lot to do with "scaffolding"-those structures or processes erected to form the edifice of a personality and indeed, a life.
Flashes of memory entertained Trevor-
Memories in Mt. Pleasant
Snow chest deep (at least for a 6-8 year old)
Sitting on the porch of a next door neighbor as he rolled his cigarettes and "watch life passing by" on the road (state street) in front of the house.
Moving from the "white house" on state street in Mt. Pleasant to the "Allred fruit farm" location south of town and remembering the man playing the piano as it was being moved on the truck there.
"owww", the memory of running into a barbed wire fence around 8 years old.
Fireworks that Spectre legally or illegally acquired and then exploded on the property which entertained the whole city (it seemed)
Spectre had something called "a magic lantern" (which Trey had thought was a version of Spectre's heat lamp that his father had frequently used to ease the body pains--even before Spectre resorted to heavy duty medication to resolve the pain).
Distinctive memories of Spectre arriving on Friday evenings to deliver the magic lantern products (crates of raspberries, strawberries, etc. as well as whole watermelons)were a delight to him. In fact he remembers the "ceremony" of greeting Spectre at the lower gate to the South Town farm and waiting with his brothers pitching rocks at the overhead power lines connecting South Town to Bubble City. The rocks made springing, high strung noises as if playing a tune.
And then there were the City (Salt Lake City memories) of the Ormes and Taylors on Gilmer Drive.
There seemed to be a generational "competitiveness" amongst neighbors in the Gilmer neighborhood.
Other neighbors, including the Ormes, had pressing competitiveness that bled into 'if you weren't good at sports "Fuggetabout you!"
Trey didn't care. His friend Jerry Taylor was a Catholic which in a mainly Mormon neighborhood was apparently frowned upon. But Jerry was like Trey in loving to play with puppets and able to create worlds and puppet lives out of vivid imaginations.
Trey filled in the gaps by creating pretend playmates "Reedy, Ashitt, and Bucket". Even Spectre joined in with the pretending which makes sense from the reminder that he had a pretend side (other than his delusions' regarding Mom).
Pretending has had such an influence on Trey from his pretend playmates unconditionally accepting him to having a fleet of classic cars at his disposal as he drove them around the yard and byways. The influence bleeds over in a negative way to preserve Trey's gullibility. It seems the balance between the damage of "Creative trusting" and inspirational injection of dreaming was and always will be part of Trey's emergent personality in life.
"Whether or not I remember accurately or sufficient enough the experiences as a child, for CERTAIN the emergent personality appeared to handle the circumstances of living" Figuring book.